How to Know Whether Your Marriage is Headed for a Crisis

It happens to everyone: marriage is wonderful, romantic, happy…and then “suddenly” it’s not. There’s no denying that even the best of relationships will have their fair share of issues. But how do you know if you’re past issues and heading toward a full-blown marriage crisis?

If you’re feeling stuck and frustrated with your marriage, here are five warning signs that signal trouble is ahead.

1. Communication is cynical and often turns to criticism

How do you and your spouse interact with each other? Is it sweet, or are there hidden barbs woven into every sentence you say to each other? If it’s the latter, that’s an indication that you’ve lost respect for one another, which is a killer for a strong marriage relationship. Rather than using sarcasm or cutting comments (even “jokes”) to get your points across, have an adult conversation to sort out your problems and discuss your differences.

2. Spending money is a constant subject of irritation

Does it irritate you when your spouse makes a purchase that they didn’t clear with you first? Or vice versa? Having the same financial goals and views is a large part of having a steady and compatible marriage. Sadly, financial issues make up 21% of divorce problems, according to a survey by MagnifyMoney.  So if you and your spouse can’t get on the same page about finances, you’re not alone, but you may be headed down a well-trodden path to divorce. If you find you and your spouse are always arguing about “irresponsible” or unnecessary purchases, you may want to head to a marriage counselor sooner rather than later.

3. You don’t care about what’s happening in your spouse’s life

Remember when you were young in your relationship, and you just soaked up every word your significant other said? If you could care less now about their day, their work successes, and anything else, that’s a big red flag. Disinterest shows that you’re drifting apart, which is never a good sign for a marriage. Take note of how you feel next time your partner tries to tell you about their day—or if they ever bother trying to do that anymore. If your friendship is no longer growing and expanding, your marriage can’t last either.

4. You don’t fight anymore

If your argument-riddled marriage suddenly went silent, that may not be a good sign. Unless that silence happened after an open and productive conversation about solving the core issues of your marriage, it might be a sign of something else: resignation. Fighting takes effort, and if you or your spouse has suddenly stopped fighting back, it could be a tell-tale sign that you’ve also stopped trying in your marriage.

5. You’re more dependent on someone else

One of the joys of marriage is having someone to share every wonderful and terrible moment of your life with. But what if your spouse isn’t that person? Do you find yourself skipping over your spouse and calling your parents or a best friend when you have a reason to celebrate? What about when something bad happens? Extenuating circumstances aside, if you can’t emotionally depend on your spouse, that’s a signal that trouble is coming, and you should address the issue as soon as possible.

In order to flourish, marriage takes effort and commitment from both people to work. However, we’re all human, and are bound to make mistakes and mess up even in the best relationship from time to time. But it’s important to remember that not every issue has to end in divorce. If you feel that your marriage is headed down the wrong path, it would be wise to seek help before things go too far south. Even if it’s hard to admit that you need marriage counseling, the results will be worth the effort if you are able to salvage your marriage. And if you try counseling and find that you are unable to work through your issues, and indeed your marriage is over, you will be much better off if you can become on amicable terms with your spouse and collaborate on your legal separation or divorce together. Either way, life is too short to not face the future with excitement, and moreover, life is better when it is shared with someone you love.

Duncan Family Law offers reliable legal separation in Los Angeles or Denver, divorce, family law, and mediation services. Our experienced legal team can serve as trusted advisors in helping you navigate the legal process. If you are considering ending your marriage, we can help you prepare for divorce proceedings so that you are in the best possible position to protect your interests. 

We are here to help. For more information about our legal services, contact us or schedule a consultation today.